1.) Stay away from 'quaint' hotels and inns. Go for the brand names like Ramada Inn or Waldorf Hotel.


2.) If an odd and unexpected fog bank suddenly rolls into town, leave immediately. Don't stay thinking it'll just pass by.


3.)Your plan takes into account all possible situations... except for the one that actually occurs, as I found out.


4.) Try to avoid going into fruitcellars of old abandoned cabins. There's nothing in them that you desperately need so stay away.


5.) Never, never, never go by yourself to investigate a strange noise coming from the:
basement
attic
any dark room
unless you're with Master Splinter.


6.) Don't go back for a friend, he's a goner. Unless it's Casey and then you can kick his ass for making you have to come after him. He will pay for his stupidity in due time.


7.) When your flashlight batteries die, and they will, so will you. Make sure you keep extras on you at all times.


8.) If someone screams "None of you know whats really going on here", listen to them, because it's probably ME yelling it.


9.) If you hear noises in a room and there isn't suppose to be someone in that room, leave the house ASAP. You didn't imagine it and have no need to go investigating it.


10.) Never go near a town that has a mental asylum and a hardware store in the same neighborhood. Heed that warning!


11.) The monster is never dead until everyone else is! Remember that from all the horror films we've watched.


12.) If you get a strange phone call, get out of the house. It's coming from the next room and it's probably Raphael pulling some of his shit. Remember the movie The Ring.


13.) If you "have a bad feeling about this" go with it, and leave. Never take chances.


14.) Curiosity kills...right, Michaelangelo?


15.) Never go off by yourself to sulk. If you're pissed off, we'll all follow to see your reaction change when something creepy jumps out at you.


16.) The less equipped you are to survive the movie, the better. Leave your weapons at home.


17.) Stay in the lair on the night of a full moon. Preferably locked in your bedroom.


18.) Try hard to recall any strange dreams you may have recently had. They will inevitably come into play at some point, Leonardo.


19.) When you're in a group, sleep in shifts. When you're alone, drink a LOT of coffee.


20.) Learn Ninjitsu. Well...at least no one has tried to roundkick Jason Vorhees yet...


21.) If the damn power suddenly shuts off. Don't go try to fix the generator. I take this from actually events. Fuck it, just deal with the darkness.


22.) When someone tells you not to look behind you, don't!


23.) Find a city before dark. Never turn off down a nice looking dirt road.


24.) NEVER go back for anything you lost, anywhere. It can be replaced.


25.) Don't volunteer to go for help! Leonardo needs to hear this.


26.) Stay on the Interstate. We will all thank you, Raphael.


27.) Never fool yourself into believing you're powerful enough to contain anything you summoned.


28.) If your car breaks down in the woods, take the time to walk the extra 5 miles into town.


29.) People driven by veangance always die. Just a hint to let the Night Watcher know.


30.) Don't be a smart-ass. It'll only get you killed, Raphael.


31.) DO NOT go into the dark room. Just say 'fuck it' and move on.


32.) If you are wounded by flesh-eating zombies, aboandon all hope because sooner or later, no matter how many anti-biotics you take, yer gonna become one of 'em. There's no miracle cure that I have in my belt.


33.) Never, EVER go in/out there (There being the attic, closet, barn, basement, dark alley, dark anywhere else, the all-concealing shadows, the woods or the lake)


34.) On no account do ANYTHING because someone dares you to. Listen to this, Mikey, since you're so gullible and Raph talks you into anything.


35.) Do not allow a computer the ability to lock doors. This means all of you to not touch stuff in my lab.